人的一生， 家人最重要。

最近奶奶住院了。 瘫痪了很多年了， 一直这样维持现状。没事儿晚上就去看看， 觉得很亲切， 觉得是我应该做的。 跟姑姑坐在奶奶床边上聊天， 突然感觉非常悲伤。 小时候家里很多人的， 长大一直就是一大家子。  出国十三年了， 太爷和爷爷都走了。 妹妹在国外， 奶奶又病成这样。以前一家子人一起的景象真的好怀念啊。 小时候就没经历过家里人不在了的感觉， 现在都快中年人了， 虽然对这些已经做好了准备， 但是真的还是很难受的。 姑姑说老家在齐齐哈尔， 那里还有很多家人， 一直都没什么联系， 但是去年姑姑和我爸去的时候还是挺好的。 我想回老家看看， 一直就只知道爸爸家老家在东北， 但不知道在那儿。 如果我不去， 我觉得以后就会失去联系了。 一家人也会变成两家人。 听说我还有不少姐姐妹妹还有弟弟在那儿。 真想见见啊。 毕竟一家人， 不管怎样以后还是一家人。 以前回家都没想过这些事， 这次真的觉得有点变了， 变得更老了的缘故吧。

 

在医院看到其他病人， 家里人的质量明显不一样。 有的老人病了， 家里一来就是二十多口， 明目张胆的就在楼道里谈家产的事儿。 晚上一个都不留下来， 只雇了个护工。 家里这么多孩子， 没有一个孝顺的愿意陪老人的， 真是可悲啊。 有的来了个中年人， 老年人来看望。 晚上让回家休息， 就是不肯走， 非要陪着他。 这感情上的差距真的是不小啊。 今天旁边来了个28岁的女孩儿， 一直在床上叫一个叫“余生”的名字。 我一进屋就听她在叫， 看了两眼觉得好可怜啊。 听我姑姑说家里人都在外地， 打了电话了但是还没有赶到。 进了急诊室是因为第三个孩子可能快要出世了， 可是她离婚了， 可能要做手术打掉孩子。 不知道这个名字是不是她丈夫的名字， 不过那种眼神， 那种状态。 真的是很悲惨的感觉。 还有没看到的， 听说来了不久就去世了。 人就是这样， 来来往往的。 年纪大了就会不知不觉的离开了你。 当那个人不在了， 才会感觉到失去了什么。 得到了， 失去了， 一辈子就是这样在轮回着。。。

来来往往， 穿梭在人海之间

在我出生长大的国家， 走在路上却是那么的陌生。 很不自然的感觉。 一个个擦肩而过的人们， 都在忙碌着自己的生活。 以前总是觉得世界很大， 属于自己的那一部分早晚会出现。 但是不断的等待， 等来的却是更多的寂寞。 出去走走， 碰碰跟我有缘分的人们。

Self statement for my application.

I still remember that fateful day when I walked into the dental office on base. It was a hot summer day, and my ship had been in port for repairs before we could deploy to the gulf in another month. I spent the whole morning with my guys repairing number two high pressure air compressor, and we joked that I was going to go slack off by going to the dentist and leaving them behind. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the cool air, nothing like the 110 degrees in the engine room, and it felt so refreshing aside from the smell of dental work. The assistant sat me down on the chair and skillfully prepared equipment for the doctor. I looked around and noticed how clean the office was, and also looked at the drills which reminded me of pain when things get started. Taking a deep breath, I thought of the repairs that we still need to finish on the ship, and raised my right hand due to the pain in my fingers. Looking at the cuts I had from repair work and the grease that was trapped between the fingernails, I asked myself what life would be like if I could work in an office like this. That was the beginning of my dream to become a dentist. That day, the doctor was kind enough to explain to me what it took for him to become one respectable man. The way he spoke and the confidence he showed portrayed a man that I really wanted to be. He asked me if I was considering becoming a dentist myself, and I told him that if I ever get out of the navy, and head back to school I would. Soon after that my enlistment was up, and it was time to decide what to do next. My retiring chief curiously asked me what I was going to do, and I told him that I was getting out and going back to school to get my degree. He laughed, and said "I thought you were going to be a lifer.""I am." I told him, "I will come back once I’m done." Somehow I knew in my heart that I was going to drastically change my career goal to become a dentist, and hopefully return to the navy as a dental officer just like the man who inspired me that day. Through the years, I have come to enjoy lending a helping hand here and there, and noticed how grateful many people were. This has strengthened my resovle in the field of dentistry, and I’m even more convinced that this is the right career for me. I participated in a recent free dental care event, and all the smiles and thanks from patients were overwhelming. I felt that I have done a great service even though all I did was guiding them to doctors. When people were turned away due to the number of patients that showed up, there was a surge of energy within me, I really wanted to help but lacked required skills to help them. If I am given a chance to become a dentist I will definitively make the most of it by doing my best work, and helping out as many as I could. One of the things that will make me a great dentist is that I always follow through with my work. I hold very high standards when I work, never accepting something as it is if I knew it could have been done better. It is this work ethic that has brought about my personal advancement by the captain of my ship. I think this would be essential to being a great dentist as patient care would be my outmost concern as a care provider. Another thing that would help me to be a good dentist is my life experience. At the age of twenty seven I have lived in three different countries, traveled to many more, and have experience different cultures. I feel very comfortable communicating with people from different regions, and this surely would help me with patient communication. After becoming a dentist, I plan to go back to the navy and serve those in uniform until I retire. Then I’d like to volunteer my service in different places where we lack dental care providers. I believe someone’s worth is measured by what he or she can do for others and for the world. Having this opportunity means that everything I wanted to accomplish in life would be within my grasp. Sure, I could have done something else for the same result, but this is the path I have chosen. One of the rules of life that I picked up from someone important in my life is to follow through with my promise and work. So I will definitely keep trying until I get to where I wanted to be. I have always overcome challenges and problems in the past, and I’m sure the processes have made me a better man. As I continue to better myself and pursue my goals, dental school would be a great start for the next chapter of my life.

瞎忙活，长见识。

前几天半夜1点， 突然来了感觉， 自己跑到club house那游泳。 露天游泳池， 半夜一个人没有。 晚上72度， 能看到水面上有哈气。 自从住在这儿以来就没用过这个游泳池， 一下水原来还是保温的。 躺着飘在水上， 想看看星星。。。 没戴眼镜一个也看不见。 呵呵 虽然很舒服， 但是有点儿渗的行。 四周都是草丛， 看不见有什么东西。 只能听见小鸟和一些不知道是什么的动物在哼哼。 水里的灯那个颜色， 更是吓唬人。 一边游一边设想到在电影里看到的无数个关于在游泳池里被暗杀了的情节。 还真有点可怕。 呵呵 再有给你一种很自在， 好像很有钱的感觉。 不过幸亏不戴眼镜看不清东西， 一个个黑点点从脑袋旁边飘过， 都不会让我太恶心。 其实我知道那是死在水里的虫子们。。。   要是看清楚是什么虫子那就恶心死了。 

 

跟商场谈签约的事儿， 价钱好贵啊。 每个月要$6700多租金。 真敢要啊， 干脆给他们当奴隶算了。 呵呵 等地区经理来了再砍价吧。 要不这样根本没钱挣啊。

 

今年打算申请18个学校， 申请表都填完了， 就剩下personal statement。 想了又想， 还是下不定主意。 去年的应该也可以用吧， 但是老想写点新的却又没时间坐下来好好想。

 

周末去做些义工， 当时报名的时候真的是迫不及待， 现在快到了却懒得去了， 但又不能不去。 呵呵。。。 什么心理啊这是。

 

最近发现自己很讨厌麻烦别人办事儿， 说不出口。 真希望自己什么都能自己办了。 让别人帮忙， 就会欠人家人情。

 

买了回国的机票， 却还没办签证。 可能是因为搜了半天终于搜到了一张1470块的， 好像跟占了人家便宜似的赶紧买了。

 

看了看可以开店的几个点儿， 无意中走进Nike的专卖店， 发现原来名牌也很便宜啊。 以前什么衣服几乎都是在 Wal-Mart买， 看了看专卖店的东西， 原来还有更便宜的。 不过要注意， 小心以后养成买名牌的习惯就完了。

 

 

生意就是战场

深深体会到了现实中的生意场上的无情， 无人格， 无尊重。 为了钱和利益， 真的是为了自己能害死别人。 这种人就要是以其人之道还治其人之身。 既然诚心亏着本也要抢别人饭碗的话， 那就不能再客气了， 只有翻脸了。

Unsure of myself

There has been times when I’m unsure of myself. Time like this when I’m in the middle of a crossroad where every road leads to a different future. The feeling of uneasiness, and lack of confidence really play into my fear of what would happen with each decision that I make. That kid 10 years ago who didn’t think before heading out to a foreign country, and who signed up for things he never thought through is long gone. Every step that I take now invovles way too much thinking. I think of things so much that I see them in my dreams. It seems the more I think, the less confident I am, and grow more unsure of myself. Sometimes I’m really jealous of people who can put the foot down and never look back. This is something that I lack as a person. The ability to be sure of myself, the ability to stop the questioning of me by myself. The day before the next cycle, I see a long way from where I wanted to be. I hope I can get there soon, and fix all the little things along the way too.

 

有的人真是事儿多啊。

记得上次搬家就是因为楼下老反应我们家噪音多。 还有过因为我妈晚上回家做饭用菜刀切菜把警察叫来的经历。 本来搬家以后觉得终于摆脱了这种小人， 结果两年后的今天又碰上了。 昨天居民区里来信说以后不让我们把车停在车库门口， 还不许在家门口洗车。 我看到马上火就上来了。 每个月要我们$2000多的租金， 两年里都没人说不许在车库前停车， 也没有说不许洗车。 这现在租金涨了， 竟然还给我们加规定？！  问问后面的邻居， 马上也都火了， 问“每月2000多的租金， 还要我自己去洗车？！ 都让我们搬走算了！” 对面的另外一个跟我很熟的邻居也疯了。 今天他在外面洗他的宝马和保时捷， 我问他收到信没有， 他说“我才不管他们怎么写的， 我就洗看他们怎么着我。” 然后他告诉我肯定是他楼下的那两位退休了的老年人。 他说社区经理找过他， 说那两位每天投诉15， 16封投诉信。 不光是投诉他家说他家里声音太大， 还有投诉别人的。 我肯定他们还投诉过我们， 因为我们家4辆车，平时车库里面两辆外面两辆。 他们自己技术不好， 那样大的地方倒车还怕撞到我们。 你们技术不好， 我们就得让着你们么？ 你们就两辆车， 不用在车库前停车， 所以我们就应该把我们的车停在马路上么？ 这些人都是什么想法啊？ 自己过得合适就行了？ 周一大家都休息， 周二我去找经理去问个明白。 如果因为他们威胁说他们要搬走所以定的新规定， 那我们也不住了， 旁边的几个邻居也有说要走的尤其对门的邻居，因为他也3辆车。 奔驰，宝马，保时捷， 跟我一样爱车老洗车。 现在是2个搬， 一个不搬， 要不一个搬， 2个不搬的。 我看你们怎么处理。 年纪大了真是毛病多啊， 这里不是老年人的居住地， 要是想找老年人住的也不是没有， 而且很多。 你们退休一天到晚都在家， 我们回家还得处处让着你们么？ 有些人真的是为自己到了极点了，很可耻啊。

  

 

我们在车库外面停车就是现在这两个位置， 对面的还说他倒不出来？？？ 开什么玩笑啊。 我们两辆车后面都能再停两辆。 欠骂啊这是， 呵呵。。。让我发泄发泄。